Kerri Potter and the Little Sisters of Doom
by CraptacularKatt
Summary: Harry Potter's Sixth year is full of pet snakes, clones, pranks, and general ridiculousness. Meet Kerri 'Potter' Callahan, a dysfunctional Slytherin, and her two Gryffindor sisters. They may not save the world, but they might make you laugh.
1. Default Chapter

Disclaimer and all that: I borrow a lot of quotes and ideas from just about everything I read and see. If you see something here that is truly your idea, and I failed to give you credit, just drop me a line so I can correct that. Besides that, the Harry Potter Universe is J.K. Rowling's. The Callahan sisters own themselves. I'm just the puppet master, and I should really get paid for this.

**Kerri Potter and the Little Sister of Doom: Sixth Year**

**Chapter One: Pets and pests.  
**

It was November and snowing, all of Hogwarts was freezing. Slytherin dorms are in dungeons, Kerri's toes went numb immediately as they touched the stone floors. She had her evil green fuzzle slippers charmed to warm, and pulled on the closest robe. No matter that it was the robe she had tossed onto the floors just last night. Wrinkles have never killed anyone.  
After brushing her teeth, Kerri splashed water onto her face, and trotted up to breakfast still in her pajamas, wrinkled robe over top in a half-hearted attempt to follow dress code.

She passed her sister, who was doing detention with Professor Flitwick. Krista Callahan was writing on a muggle chalk board, "Hedwig will not become a phoenix, no matter how many matches I light underneath him." It looked like she had been there for a while, hundreds of sentences had scrawled over the board. She didn't look properly chastised, however. Kerri peered harder into the classroom from around the corner, and nearly jumped out of her skin when the Real Krista tapped her on the shoulder.  
"Nice slippers." She was trying to stuff an entire pancake into her mouth while talking, and had a three foot tall stack floating behind her.  
"Are you making your clone serve your detention?"  
Krista tried to look her most innocent, the effect was ruined because she still had a whole pancake stuffed into her mouth. Her cheeks puffed out like a hamster.   
Kerri wished she had a clone, but she wouldn't admit it to her sister. She just turned away in disgust and stalked to the kitchens.

Pancakes and pumpkin juice later, Kerri was at a loss of how to spend her day. She was crap at sport, and wasn't about to break her neck on a broom... Then she had a wicked idea. An awesome, scandalous, and great idea. She dashed back down to her dorm bed, and threw on her Hogwarts uniform, not even bothering to shimmy out of her pajama boxers. They were green, like most of what she owned. Kerri, if given the choice, only wore green, silver, and black. Piled at the corner of her bed was a green and silver scarf, and entwined in her house scarf was a dozing snake.

Voldemort the snake. I'm sure you remember him from the other adventures of Kerri Potter, if you don't just nod your head and pretend that you do. Kerri decided it was time to teach her snake a few tricks, inspired by Krista's use of her clone.

After a shower and a ten minute argument with the mirror about the state of her hair, ("Shave your head bald, or wear a paper bag and no one will complain!") she made her way back out of the dungeons and into the Great Hall to catch a ride on the moving stair cases. No one really made any disparaging remarks about her hair anymore. During the summer Kerri had convinced her mom to let her bleach two chunks of blonde into the front of her hair. By convince, we mean, Kerri bleached two chunks of hair to a light blonde, and showed up to dinner with the new hairstyle. Her mother hasn't killed her yet.

Also, dear reader, note that Kerri had her pet snake wrapped around her neck, under the scarf, to keep warm. The dungeons of Hogwarts were freezing in the winter, and snakes are cold blooded. She didn't particularly fancy having a snake Popsicle for a familiar.

Kerri was on her way to the Hogwarts library. Of course should have to bump into the annoying pest known as her sister on the way. Krista had her clone trailing behind her; covered in chalk dust, carrying all her books, potions supplies, and balancing a fishbowl on her head. Kerri wasn't about to ask what the fishbowl was doing there.  
Krista, the original, poked at the sleeping snake. She prodded. She danced and weebled and wobbled, hissing like mad.   
"Just what do you think you are doing?" Kerri demanded.  
Krista's clone, was mimicking the weeble-wooble hissing dance. Water from the fish bowl sloshed onto the mini-Krista's Gryffindor scarf.  
"I'm talking to your snake. Duh."  
Voldemort peeped one eye open and hissed to Kerri. "I'm sssleeping. Make it go away."  
"See! It's talking to me!"  
"Voldemort says he is sleeping. Go away."  
"You named your snake Voldemort? How cliché."  
"This coming from the girl who named her clone Mini-Me."  
"At least mini me is fitting. It accurately describes my clone; a miniature version of me. Voldemort is French for flight from death. Where the crap are your snake's wings?"  
"I didn't name it Voldemort. He is Voldemort!" The snake in question bobbed its head as if in agreement before settling into the Slytherin scarf around Kerri's neck.  
"Sure. Whatever you say." Turning away from Kerri, Krista motioned to her dancing clone and twirled a finger by her ear. "She's gone cuckoo. Lets go."  
The Krista-clone stopped dancing, but started yelling, "Cuckoo! Cuckoo!" Like the clock, and they walked away.  
No one really believed her, but her pet snake really was the once evil, murderous You-Know-Who. Everyone just went on believing that the lazy, good for nothing, Boy-who-lived-to-be-a-pain-in-the-ass, vanquished him; just like the prophesy said.  
Only Voldemort, Kerri, and Harry Potter knew the truth.  
Kerri Potter was now spending her day in the library showing her pet snake a revised list of rules on being an Evil Overlord. She figured she could teach the snake a thing or too about the subject, seeing as she wrote the list herself. Her wicked plan was set into motion, she was going to make a bigger, better, more efficient evil pet. If the plan failed, she could always teach the snake to fetch, or something.  
On the cold November morning, Kerri sat, quill and parchment in hand, talking to the snake. Even Madam Pince stopped drifting over to the corner. Apparently Krista wasn't the only person to consider Kerri cuckoo.

"Honestly, Volde. That black robe and scary mask thing is way too Halloween. You should wear bright colors. It'll confuse your enemies. If not confuse.. then just wear neon. You could try and blind them."  
The snake just hissed his disapproval.  
"Oh, here's a good one. Number 38: If an enemy I have just killed has a younger sibling or offspring anywhere, I will find them and have them killed immediately, instead of waiting for them to grow up harboring feelings of vengeance towards me in my old age."  
Now I'm not sure if you have ever hear a snake growl. I doubt they have the ability. Volde did, however, make a good show of it. He also called Kerri some names that aren't acceptable to type here, if I want to keep my G rating.  
"Yeah, you're right. Maybe you should have read this list before you had that brilliant idea. Hey! Hey! Those aren't nice words, don't make me wash your mouth out with soap. It's not my fault your avada kedavra sucks. "  
The snake mumbled something that sounded suspiciously like Avada Kedvra towards his owner.  
"Too bad you can't use magic anymore. You might give me another scar. Everyone is wearing them these days- the height of fashion and all that."  
Voldemort refused to speak to her, or listen to her from there on out. He snuggled once more into the soft fleece of her scarf, which was his own snake version of singing LALALA and plugging his fingers in his ears.

Lets stop the story in the library right now just to clarify some things.  
Kerri's surname is not, in fact, Potter. Her fellow Slytherins gave her the moniker in her first year at Hogwarts. Mostly they were teasing the her for having a scar on her head. It was meant to be a joke, to insult Harry just as much as Kerri. It sort of stuck.

Kerri used to follow Harry Potter around during their first year at Hogwarts. Ms Rowling failed to mention that little bit. Honestly, she had some sort of obsession with Harry really, and neglected over half the on-goings at Hogwarts. I'm getting a head of myself though...  
See Kerri did have a lightning bolt shaped scar on her forehead. When she was much younger, and not at Hogwarts, Kerri was learning to ride a bike down a hill. She fell comically all the way down only to have her tumbling-fall broken by a large jagged rock.  
Which only left a sort of jagged acute-angle-shaped scar. Her little sister, Krista, poked at the scar with her wand, (while Kerri was unconscious from a rather vicious game of Knock Kerri Unconscious) and charmed the scar a more noticeable lightning shape.

(It is a little known fact that Krista has a scar charmed in the shape of an Oompa Loompa on her bum. Sometimes it sings and dances at really quiet formal meals, and Transfiguration tests.)

Around now is where we are going to learn about Kerri's older sister, Caitlin. Caitlin Callahan was a year older than Kerri and in her seventh year at Hogwarts. Caitlin was a lot more experienced at getting herself in and out of trouble.   
Speaking of trouble, that happened to be Caitlin's middle name. Literally. Her name was Caitlin Trouble Callahan. She was a Prefect, a Chaser on the Quidditch team, and an all around good girl. At least that's what her professors thought.  
Caitlin had a habit of sneaking out of the common room for a late night snack from the kitchens. She also met with someone in Moaning Myrtle's bathroom regularly. By regularly we mean at least once a week.  
Caitlin's two younger sisters made her look bad. They got into a lot more trouble, and were caught for it. They lost a lot of house points, and when they weren't fighting with each other they were causing trouble within their houses. They were the subject of many Prefect Meetings. Everyone pleaded with Caitlin to control her sisters, or talk some sense into them, or to beat the living snot out of them, or something. The Slytherin's said they would take care of Kerri... who in the most part behaved. She was just a little... weird. Krista was out and out loony, and could be heard laughing loudly to herself on many occasions... and she had this odd habit of being in two places at once.

Caitlin largely ignored her two little sisters, and tried her best not to be associated with them at all. As far as she was concerned, they weren't her problem just so long as she didn't catch them out after hours. They were now the problems of their Heads of Houses, and the Headmaster. Caitlin washed her hands of the two annoying trouble makers.  
Caitlin had bigger plans than being Prefect. Much bigger plans indeed. 


	2. Kerri Potter: Chapter Two

J.K. Rowling owns all of the Harry Potterverse. Written for pleasure, not profit. Which means Caitie, Kerri, and Roo: you owe me a pizza.

**Kerri Potter and the Little Sisters of Doom**

**Chapter Two: Big Plans**

The next morning, Sunday morning to be exact, Kerri Potter was up bright and early. Kerri had big plans for Sunday, none of which involved doing her homework. She wanted to finish her list for Voldemort, build a snake terrarium, write a letter to her two oldest sisters, and make her Christmas list. Big plans indeed.

Her snake had big plans of his own, but the only part he let Kerri in on was the part of Kerri tracking down Draco. Kerri didn't particularly see how Draco would be of any use to her, or her snake, seeing as how his father was imprisioned, and his mother was off on holiday in France.  
Draco was rather sore about his father's recent imprisonment, and continued to make nasty comments about Hermione Granger to whoever would listen. Save Kerri. He avoided being alone with Kerri for any extended amount of time, afraid that she would rope him into some hair brained scheme or another. Crabbe and Goyle still followed Draco around, but not as closely. Their fathers had apparently warned them off of associating with him, lest they be taken to Azkaban by.. osmosis or something. Kerri couldn't really say. She stopped trying to figure out the Future Deatheaters Club a long time ago. She was only a half-blood, and wasn't invited to any of their dumb parties.  
She let Voldemort know this, which only excited the snake further. He must speak with the blonde boy immediately.

After getting dressed, Kerri decided to go ahead with Operation Bug Draco, which normally progressed later on in the year. Officially OBD was an annual event, with several unofficial Draco Bugging sessions in between.  
When Kerri had made it to the Great Hall, she found her sister was already celebrating the holiday.

Krista had taped a giant X with duct tape on the stone floor, directly under an oddly tilting chandelier. Kerri figured the clone was under an invisibility cloak, ready to jump on the unlucky person to stand on the X. Or curse them, or pour pink hair dye on their head. Or something. Kerri would have done it.  
Krista was standing in front of Draco, trying to get him to stand on the X. He glared at her and continued to drink his pumpkin juice.  
"Come on, Malfoy! You know you wanna!"  
"Look here you dirty little pest, leave me alone or I'll have Crabbe and Goyle beat you into a bloody little pulp."  
Krista didn't look the least bit concerned, "Uh huh. So, you want to volunteer Crabbe or Goyle then!"  
"No! That isn't what I said!"  
Too late, Krista was already pulling Crabbe towards the duct taped floor. She excitedly gave a thumbs up to chandelier, and stood in shock, as a bucketful of pink hair dye landed right on top of her.  
The entire student body of the great hall erupted into laughter as a flamingo pink Krista pouted. "Looks like I will have to go with plan B then."  
Crabbe went back to his breakfast.  
Kerri flicked Draco behind his ears, "Don't think about hurting my sister. That's MY job."  
Draco was aiming his wand at Kerri, when the Slytherin Quidditch captain pulled him from his thoughts.

Kerri watched as the Slytherin Quidditch team left for practice, her snake hissing at her the entire time.  
"Look, I tracked him down. What else do you want me to do?"  
"Follow him, I mussst ssspeak with him."  
As Kerri was leaving the table, she hissed back, "And how exactly do you plan on doing that? Draco isn't a parseltongue."  
"Which of us is the evil genius, and which the minion?"  
Kerri blew a raspberry at her snake, and made her way into the cold stadiums.

While we are at the stadiums, now would be a great time to explain how Krista was banned from Quidditch.

It was a windy Saturday morning.. so early that it could have still been considered Friday night. Krista was zooming around on her sister Caitlin's broom, beater's bat in hand trying to steal the golden snitch. She had let loose all the other balls as a result, and was whacking them away from her as she chased the flying golf ball.

Ron Weasley, Quidditch Captain, was watching the odd little girl slam the bludgers out of her path. He looked to the Boy-Who-Lived and said, "Hey... who invited the tetchy little squirrel girl?" Then, "Well, she's not half bad."  
Caitlin's eyes narrowed as she saw the squirrel girl, who was in fact, her younger sister. "That's my broom!"  
Ron motioned to the rest of the hopefuls to mount their brooms, and thus tryouts commenced.

Krista ended up knocking all of the other beaters off their brooms with the bludgers. Caitlin tried to get near her sister, to demand the broom back but found too many balls flying towards her head. She used a borrowed broom for the rest of the try outs ducking and rolling, and avoiding the projectiles Krista caused to sail her way. Harry dodged all the bludgers and caught the snitch, and she growled. "Hey, I was trying to get that!" But no one heard her, because Ron was yelling that he had made the decisions.

Krista was made beater on the team, although she had never really followed Quidditch. She was just trying to catch the snitch because she thought it would make a great cat toy. Not that she had a cat, but still.

So it was a confused Krista that wore the red and gold Gryffindor uniform to the first Quidditch match of the season. Gryffindor versus Hufflepuff. Everything was going just fine, Krista had only hit two of her teammates, until Harry Potter caught the snitch. Krista watched it, as if in slow motion, and screamed out a battle cry with her bat raised in the air, "I TOLD YOU THAT WAS MINE!" She angrily pounded a bludger over to Harry's direction, and Caitlin watched in horror.

Caitlin raced over to protect Harry, who was doing loop de loops, snitch in hand.  
"What are you doing Krista! He's on your team! That's against the rules."  
Krista raised an eyebrow for a moment and shouted back, "There are RULES to this?"  
Caitlin hovered in mid air, glaring at Krista, just in time to take a bludger to the stomach. The force of the blow knocked her into Harry. Both fell off their brooms into the sand at the bottom of the pitch.

Krista calmly swooped down, and snatched the snitch from Harry's hand. "Yoink!"  
Krista was chased off the pitch by her older sister, who was clutching her stomach in agony.  
Following the game, she was immediately taken off the team.  
Most of the Gryffindors were confused as to what had happened. Caitlin was a hero for a week, Krista hid from Caitlin for a week, and Harry Potter swore that he had caught the snitch.

Caitlin normally tried to ignore Krista, so the rest of the Gryffindor students just followed Caitlin's lead. Caitlin threatened to curse a beater's bat to attack Ron if he didn't removed Krista from the team. To repeatedly attack Ron's... well. You understand.

The game was the most entertaining thing to the Slytherins. They even made up a song about it. Krista loved the song so much that she could be seen singing and dancing along to it in the halls among a crowd of Slytherins.

Kerri was singing that very song, as she watched Draco play. The truth was, Krista was banned because everyone was just a little afraid of her playing Quidditch with them. Kerri tried to amuse herself out on in the stands by starting the age old Little league tradition of chatter. "Heyyyyyyyyyyyyyyy Draco Draco Draco! Heeeeeeyyyyyy Draco Draco Draco! Fly Draco! Fly Draco draco draco!"  
When that stopped being amusing, she poked her snake repeatedly, until it woke up. "Draco is on a broom. What do you want me to do?"  
"Go back insssside. It is freezing out here."  
Kerri agreed and passed Hagrid's hut, trying to figure out what was in the great big brown boxes all poked with holes and covered in snow. Hopefully something covered in fur.  
As she approached, one of the boxes growled and shook, and Kerri scuttled backwards, hurrying into the relative safety of the Castle.

"What now, oh brilliant snake of mine?"  
"I need competent minions."  
"Bite me... OW!"  
Kerri stalked back to her room, in the dungeons, and took out her wand. She went through her trunk, and tossed aside a picture frame.  
She smirked at it, and then at her snake, and transfigured the glass and wood into a little glass and wood box, perfectly shaped for Voldemort.  
As she tucked the protesting snake into the glass, she heard it hissing loudly. "Don't you know who I am!" Kerri tossed her scarf into the glass and tucked the snake habitat into the corner of her bed.  
Then she started her homework.

Krista was in the Great Hall, still pink, with a stack of toast in front of her. She was busily charming faces onto each piece of toast, and laughing loudly to herself.  
Kerri's stomach had began making funny noises around lunch time. Kerri put her quill down and pulled on a robe to go eat some lunch.  
Krista had stood an army of toast end to end, covering the entire span of the Gryffindor table. She looked up as the shadow of Kerri passed over pieces thirty-four through fifty-two.  
"What are you doing?"  
"Don't interrupt Secret Operation Army of Toast! Go away!"  
Kerri counted at least one hundred toasts staring up at her. One was sticking its tongue out at her. Kerri calmly picked up that one, and bit into it.  
"Hey, hey! That was my favorite piece! Now what will I tell his family?"  
Kerri shrugged, toast stuffed into her mouth.  
"Oh..you...grr... I'll get you back for this!"  
Kerri shrugged again. "You can tell his family that he was tasty."  
Krista growled, patting her robe frantically for where she had put her wand.  
Kerri decided to go to the library.

It so happened that Caitlin was in the library as well. Kerri sat at her usual table, spreading all sorts of books around herself. Who to Care for your Pet snake. Transfiguration for Fun and Profit. Caitlin wasn't too far away, and was sitting with a group of friends, talking excitedly about something. Kerri tried to ignore her for a while. The group got gradually noisier and noisier. Kerri left her post and went over to see what they were talking about.

"I know, right! Then he said...Go away Kerri."  
Caitlin looked up at her sister. The table fell into a hush.  
Kerri grinned. "He said go away Kerri? Ohh.. This is getting good."  
Caitlin wrinkled her nose. "That was just stupid. Go back to whatever it was you were doing."  
"You were being very loud, so I decided to see what was so interesting over here. That is what I am doing."

Kerri looked around, and noticed that there were thirteen different girls sitting around a table, crowded with information on potions and muggle toys. She looked back up at her sister.  
"Look, nosy. This is a study group for Muggle Studies and Potions. You can't possibly help because you are behind us in Potions, and you aren't even taking Muggle Studies. Go away or I'll hex you."

Kerri was about to say something, but found herself facing thirteen different wands.  
"What touchy study group." Kerri thought, as she settled back down into her chair. She was reading through a book on animal transfiguration. The book had stated that the spell Kerri had used on Voldemort was irreversible. Just like it has said when she had read it last year... before she gained a snake familiar. Draco wouldn't be able to help Voldemort.

Kerri closed the book and started writing a letter to her sister.  
It wasn't the most interesting letter. Her sister was a rock star in America. Her other sister was a curse breaker... somewhere. Whereever curse breakers work.  
She also wrote out a pending Christmas list.

Meanwhile, Krista had snuck into the Slytherin dorms under the invisibility cloak she stole from Harry. Her and her clone was absolutely silent, and left with only three things. Twin versions of the Oompa Loompa march were heard echoing out the girls dormitories before dinner, but no one knew exactly where they were coming from.


	3. Kerri Potter: Chapter Three

Have I mentioned I don't own Hogwarts? Or Blaise Zambini. He makes an appearance in this chapter, and has become my favorite character to write. You can expect to see more of him in future chapters. Not making any money, but I will work for smoothies.

**Kerri Potter and the Little Sisters of Doom!**

**Chapter Three: Petitions**

December came, bitter cold as November. Kerri felt the cold even more so, now that she was missing her favorite pair of slippers. To make matters worse, her snake seemed to have disowned her for a while. Only to have promptly shown back up, complaining that no one truly appreciates evil these days. He took residence in Kerri's scarf once more and life for Kerri resumed as normal as possible.

Slytherin and Gryffindor seemed to be doomed to have double potions in the morning. Kerri was stuck being a partner with Blaise Zambini, the only other Slytherin to be some what of a loner. Blaise was an extremely intelligent, business-oriented Slytherin. He ran a homework-for-hire service, which was extremely popular in most houses. He was also credited for starting the only text book swap program between grades. Anything for a profit. He was also rather adventurous in potions.

Kerri sat next to Blaise, chopping ingredients for the Restorative Draught they were brewing. Her potion was going better than expected, seeing as she never really took the time to actually chop her ingredients properly. Blaise's potion was smoking: which it wasn't supposed to be doing.  
Kerri winced at the gray bubbling mixture in Zambini's cauldron.  
"What are you brewing?"  
Zambini flashed an evil-genius style grin. It was all teeth. "Guess!"  
"Oh no. I'm not even attempting to guess what you are trying to kill me with. Please, just tell me that it won't blow up this time."  
Zambini tipped his head to the side and regarded his cauldron thoughtfully.  
"Nah, it shouldn't." He jumped back when a particularly large gray bubbled burped and popped on the surface. "...er.. I think."  
Kerri didn't look very convinced. She slid her chair further away from her partner.

_That isn't a poison._

Her snake hissed in her ear. She almost jumped too, not realizing that Voldemort had tagged along to Potions. She was trying to keep her head down and stay out of Snape's radar. He was too busy sneering at Harry Potter to notice, so Kerri hissed back to Voldemort.  
_No... Mine is Restorative Draught.  
It's not a poison. You should be making poisons.  
I don't want to make poisons.  
I know a particularly great poison. I'll teach you how to brew it.  
No thanks.  
You need venom of a..._

Kerri clamped her fingers over the snake's mouth, while stirring her potion the correct number of times.  
Zambini stopped trying to stir the cement-like goo in his cauldron, and started poking Kerri with his wand.  
"Why did you bring your snake to class? I didn't even know you had a snake." He half-whispered.  
"I didn't know he was in my robe, he must have hidden in the pocket. He wants you to add venom and Lionfish spines to your potion. It creates some sort of poison."

Kerri clamped her fingers over the snake's mouth, while stirring her potion the correct number of times.Zambini stopped trying to stir the cement-like goo in his cauldron, and started poking Kerri with his wand."Why did you bring your snake to class? I didn't even know you had a snake." He half-whispered."I didn't know he was in my robe, he must have hidden in the pocket. He wants you to add venom and Lionfish spines to your potion. It creates some sort of poison." 

Zambini raised an eyebrow to Kerri, and tried poking the snake with his wand.

"How would your snake know how to brew poisons...and when did you learn to speak with snakes?"

Kerri squinted at Zambini, then waved her hands in front of him.

"Hello, is that you Zambini? Are you feeling well? This is the most I've heard you speak in five years!"  
"Don't change the subject Callahan. Just answer the question."  
"My snake is a special snake. I'm a parseltongue."

She stopped to listen to Voldemort hiss at her. "...and apparently he wants to poison Harry Potter. Scratch that Zambini, put those spines away. No need to go to Azkaban..."

It was just Kerri's luck that Professor Snape decided to creep up and scare the living crap out of her... I mean, check her potion.  
"Callahan, do tell me why you've decided to bring your pet to class."  
"Er.. I'm showing House pride?"  
Snape narrowed his eyes, "I am not amused. Animals are only allowed in this class room if they are being used for potions ingredients."  
Volde was hissing at Snape as we walked away from Kerri.  
_I'm going to bite him.  
No, no you aren't.  
Watch me.  
No. I don't need to get in any more trouble._

Kerri tucked her snake into her pocket._  
Just a nibble? _

Once upon a time in Transfiguration, Krista was turning a bottle cap into a ...well something. She hadn't quite decided what it was yet. They were supposed to be doing something boring, like turning guinea pigs into guinea fowl. Krista was much better at Divination anyway, so she had tried to make her clone go to classes; but her clone couldn't use a wand, and she kept attempting to bite Dennis Creevy.

Krista was idly poking her bottle cap with her wand. It had started to glow red and green. Her mind was definitely not focused on Transfiguration, not with Christmas so soon. It was mid-December, and everyone was looking forward to Christmas, mostly because of the presents. Krista was determined to stay in the castle for Christmas, whether her parents liked it or not. She had already been to Hogsmeade for the last bit of things she needed for gifts. Though, to tell the truth, she had ended up getting Honeydukes candy for herself more times than not.

When class was over, Krista had transfigured her bottle cap, two pieces of lint, and her hat into a strand of blinking Christmas lights, two glittery snowflakes, and a plush goldfish. She had managed to get around to her assignment as well, but her guinea fowl had red and green feathers.

She hurried back to her common room, a flurry of red and green blinking lights.

Caitlin sat in the Gryffindor common room, scribbling hurriedly onto a piece of parchment. This time of year meant fewer owls available for her work, and she didn't want anything to be late.  
Racing to the owlery, Caitlin had attached no less than seven pieces of parchment to seven different owl legs, and sent them off with a couple of owl treats. She sighed heavily and trudged back up the stairs to her common room, hoping to relax before lunch.

Krista had a large stack of parchments in her hand, wand at the ready. She waltzed right up to her sister, Caitlin, who was reclining in an overstuffed chair in front of the fire. Krista fluttered the top sheet like a flag in front of her face.  
"Sign my Petition!"  
Caitlin started and glared at her sister's smiling face. "Get lost. I'm busy."  
"Sign my Petition!"  
Caitlin sighed, leaning further back into the cushions on the chair, pulling her hat over her eyes. "Busy."

Krista started to dance around the chair, twirling around and singing in a high pitched squeaky voice, "Sign my petition, sign it sign it, you know you really want to. Sign my petition, sign it sign it. You really really want too!"

Caitlin pointed her wand in Krista's general direction and tried to hex her. Krista was very used to dodging hexes, curses, and general magical attacks. The hex hit the wall behind her, and dissipated harmlessly into brightly colored blue sparks.  
Krista thrust a pen into her sister's hand.  
"What is this petition for?"  
"I was doing research on the space-time continuum, and found that the liberal use of time turners in the Ministry's history is much more dangerous than say, being allowed to clone oneself. Apparently it is frowned upon to use any sort of magic to duplicate oneself... "

She continued on for about five minutes uninterrupted, talking about the space-time continuum, vacuums, cheese burritos, and any manner of things. Caitlin watched her, with her eyes half closed, wondering, "How on earth does she breath when she talks so fast? I bet she'd be a squirrel animagus." Caitlin scribbled her name on the parchment just to shut Krista up.  
Krista skipped away happily, "Yes, that makes twenty-four and a half! Who else will be a willing victim..er.. volunteer!"

Kerri was sitting in an unused classroom, her snake wrapped around her arm. She was muttering spells and practicing the coinciding wand movements, as according to a book that Voldemort chose from the library.  
The snake was still trying to turn Kerri into a dark Witch. Kerri figured it wouldn't hurt to learn new spells, it wasn't like Madame Pinch would really let her check out, Unforgivables and You: A Practical Guide to Getting Away With Murder. And A Beginners Guide to Death and Dismemberment was already checked out. She settled on a dusty tome chock full of dark curses with illustrations on their effects to boot. She wrinkled her nose at a particularly nasty one, when a piece of parchment flutter in front of her face.  
Krista could be absolutely silent when she wanted to be.  
"Sign my petition." She demanded.  
Her clone was tagging along, only half covered by an invisibility cloak. She was hugging the goldfish bowl.  
"No. Go away."  
Krista employed the same methods that got forty other students and two members of the staff to sign her petition. Dancing, singing, and generally being a pest.

Kerri read over the petition on Legalizing Cloning. She flipped through the entire stack of parchment to the last page and read out loud, "Upon signing this parchment, the signee has thus promised one such Krista Erin Callahan full possession of their soul."  
Kerri paused for a moment to make sure she had read that correctly, then spun around to her sister.  
"KRISTA! You can't start collecting people's Souls! That is ridiculous!" She promptly set the parchment on fire.  
"Drat. You're the only person to have read that far." Krista and her newly covered up clone left the room.

In retaliation for Kerri's thwarting, Krista had decided to devote most of her day to thinking up different ways to take over the world.  
She returned to the classroom Kerri was still practicing in, with a group of animated folded paper. "Forward March!"  
Kerri sighed, and looked at her snake.  
_You can bite her.  
No thanks, I think that is one way to catch insanity.  
_  
The group of folded paper was steadily hopping its way to the desk Kerri was sitting at.  
"What the crap are those?"  
"My army of Origami! ... of Doom!"  
Kerri bent down and lifted an origami giraffe. "Oh, my, how cute!" Then preceded to stomp on all the other origami animals.  
Krista narrowed her eyes, watching the her Origami army of Doom be obliterated so soon. "I worked an entire twenty minutes on those. You are going to pay!"  
Then she dashed from the room.

Kerri decided it would be wise to relocate to another classroom.


	4. Kerri Potter: Chapter Four

Harry Potter, Hogwarts, and the rest all were J.K. Rowling's first. Chemical X, sugar, and spice are from the Powerpuff Girls. Kirsten owns herself.

Caitlin complained that Kerri and Krista got more attention than she did, so in this chapter I make an effort to give her a bit more active. This is the chapter where I stopped worrying that I was using every plot device that was used before, and just decided to have fun.

**Kerri Potter and the Little Sisters of Doom!**

**Chapter Four: Rockstar Christmas. **

Winter break came with all its tinsel, holly, and lights. The entire castle was decked out in festive colors, glowing faeries, and singing suits of armor. Snowball fights outside and in, joyous voices and all the excitement of the coming holidays made it Caitlin's favorite time at school. She had both her younger sisters join her in the appeal to their parents, begging to stay for this Christmas, Caitlin's last while she would be in school. Her graduation was steadily approaching, and with it all the stress Apparation tests, Newts, and the ever exciting acceptance letters from the Quidditch teams she had hoped to be recruited to. (Cross your fingers!) She figured she would have already been approached by a team by now, but still kept her hopes up. Mum wanted her to attend a muggle university, so she had agreed to send out applications. She already received three acceptance letters, but didn't want to talk with her mum about them just yet. How could she leave the wizarding world, so full of magic, and live in the muggle world? Besides, she was too busy enjoying herself at Hogwarts to worry about all that, it was months away!

Christmas morning she woke up early, while all the other Gryffindors were still tucked all snug in their beds. Dreams of chocolate frogs danced in their heads... There weren't many students left in Hogwarts for the holidays; in her year only herself, Kaitie Bell, and Kirsten had remained. Ron Weasley and Harry Potter, and Ginny as well. Oh, and Krista. Four Hufflepuffs she couldn't place were left, as well as a handful of Ravenclaws, and two Slytherins. Caitlin had agreed to save some presents to open with her friends, but wanted to check out what exactly was piled at the foot of her bed. She knew exactly which presents to open first, seeing as they were big and soft, and figured she didn't need to make a big show out of new socks and underwear in front of her friends. Her mum and dad's first gift open, she raced herself to the prefect's bath, and soaked in a tub full of strawberry pink bubbles humming softly to herself.

By the time she left the water and wrapped herself in a towel she was she was singing into her hairbrush. She stopped, mouth full of mint-flavored paste, and danced with her tooth brush, lost in fantasy.

"May I have this dance?" She murmured in a low voice. "Oh, of course Fred!" As she twirled around the tile floors accidentally spitting toothpaste, "Oh, now don't be jealous George... there will be more than enough time for you to dance... Oh? Lee Jordan! Boys...Boys.. don't fight!"  
Her twirling came to an abrupt halt as she saw her youngest sister, Krista, staring at her.  
"See, I told you, my entire family is crazy." Krista tilted her head to her left, talking to the air.

"Cuckoo!" 

Caitlin threw her toothpaste tube at her sister as she fumbled around for her wand. "Scram! You aren't even supposed to be in here."

Krista ducked behind a mermaid statue, "Everyone knows the password but how was I supposed to know you were going to be in here now?" Peeking out from the statue she stuck her tongue out at Caitlin and then bolted for the door, firing off a blind hex as she ran.  
Caitlin started to chase her, and made it to the stair well, before she realized she was only in a towel, and Peeves could be anywhere. She didn't enjoy the idea of being caught in her birthday suit, so she made her way back to her clothing.

"Nothing is going to ruin this day!" Caitlin exclaimed to the mermaids as she changed into her presents from her Mum and dad; new pajamas. She slipped back to her dorm clad in her new fluffy sheep pajama bottoms with matching top, her parents had even picked out matching slippers. They bleeted twin Baaa's as she padded through the common room back to the dorms.

No one, besides the Pest were even awake yet.

Caitlin picked over the other presents, shaking the boxes carefully and maybe peeking just a little. She let out a giant Squee! When she found the oversized package from her oldest sister Colleen. In the middle of her band's tour in America, Colleen had decided to send a personalized band tee-shirt, their first cd, and small note. The note from her sister read:

_Caitlin, this was supposed to be your graduation gift. But why wait? I hear you haven't decided what to do with the rest of your life well I say Congrats! There is no reason to rush! Here is the number to my manager, phone him when you decided what you are doing. I'm offering to let you come tour with the band over the summer if you want to. Don't tell Mum. _

_Love, Colleen._

_  
The number floated out on the back of two tickets to the band's London concert scheduled for June. _

Caitlin reread the note twice, then leapt up screaming, "I'm going to be a ROCKSTAR! I'M GOING TO BE A ROCK STAR! EEEEEEEEEEEEeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeEEEEEE! Oof!" She fell over her bed when a pillow whacked her in the back of the head. Kirsten was sitting up in the bed next to her.  
"Geeze Caitlin, that squeal could wake the dead! Merlin, it's only seven a.m."  
Caitlin rubbed the back of her head, then leapt over to Kirsten's bed, pillow in hand to tackle her. They both landed with a thump on the floor, wrapped in the red curtains that normally hung around the bed.  
"Rock star rock star rock star!" Caitlin was chanting, with each blow of the pillow. Kirsten was fighting back, tickling Caitlin's stomach.  
Katie Bell woke up, bleary-eyed and annoyed. The girls had been up all night eating Honeydukes sweets and snacking on pastries nabbed from the kitchens. She waved her wand and with a yawning, "Locomotor Mortis!" Managed to hit Caitlin in the back.  
"Come on guys! I don't even wake up this early for school."  
"Caitlin started it." Kirsten said with a smirk. "Besides its time for presents!"  
"But.. it's seven in the morning..."  
"Presents." Kirsten said.  
Katie rolled her eyes and reanimated Caitlin, who started jumping around screaming again.  
"Rock star! Rock Star!"  
"Whoa! Whoa! Calm down or I'll do it again!" Katie yelled.  
"Look you guys!" Caitlin thrust the note into her friend's hands.

Kirsten read it, then looked to Katie. Their mouths hung open. Caitlin started jumping on the bed, "I'm gunna be a Rooooock Staaaaaaaaaaar!" The other two started jumping on the bed with her chanting excitedly, until Ginny Weasley popped in to tell them to shut up.  
She ended up getting roped into the excitement as well and everyone opened presents together.

After the excitement died down a little, Caitlin pulled on the band tee-shirt. On the back, in curly text flashed the message: "Rock star!"

The new robes from her parent's paled in comparison to Colleen's gift. The jewelry from her sister Kathleen paled in comparison. The plush sock monkey who sang lullabies from Krista was cute, until it started whispering, "Buy Krista chocooooolaaate..." and "Krista wants a pony!" Kerri got her a subscription to Witch Weekly.

Her friends chipped in and bought her even more candy, and a large photo album to fill with pictures during their last school year together.

Kirsten had fallen asleep over her pile of presents.  
Caitlin narrowed her eyes, and charmed a feather to wiggle, then sent it after her sleeping friend. Katie Bell started a new pillow fight with Caitlin over Kirsten's head. "I'm up! I'm up!" She tried to swat the feather away, and her eyes widened as her friends proceeded to whack each other with pillows until the stuffing started to fly. She pulled the sheets over her head and tried to retreat. "I'm down! I'm down!"

Kerri's idea of Christmas spirit was slapping a Santa hat on her snake's head with a sticking charm. She was the only girl left it the Slytherin dorms, and her snake had been bothering her all Winter break to go exploring around Hogwarts while there were less students and no classes. She tried to sleep in, but her body was used to her sleep schedule while she was in school, so she ended up waking up at her normal time. She made her way through the presents stacked at the end of her bed, delighting in the new slippers and snake pajamas from her parents. The new robes she was less than thrilled about. Her sister Colleen sent her a band tee-shirt and cd as well, but the note only read Merry Christmas! Her tee-shirt proclaimed in green, "My snake is smarter than yours!" She had asked her sister Kathleen for different books on snakes from the rainforest and ruins she had traveled too. Kerri had wanted to be a herpetologist as a child, and had most of the interesting books she could find on snakes already. Her sister ended up sending her two leatherbound books about serpent magic, and a couple of fiction novels. Caitlin sent a large green velvet bag full of candy. Kerri sorted through various other gifts before reaching a crudely wrapped cardboard box. She opened it hesitantly, and read the note that was inside.

_If you every whant to see your evel green fuzel sleepers agin, leve 20 gaeluns in this boks out side of the grifindoor tower._

There was also a poorly drawn picture of the two green fuzzy slippers that went missing from Kerri's dorm months ago.

After pulling on her tee-shirt and new serpent pajamas on, she padded to the Slytherin common room, grouchy snake in tow. She brought the note to show to the other Slytherin in the den, and the bag of candy to bribe him. He normally only worked for money, but chocolate was his weakness. Kerri figured that she wouldn't have been a Slytherin if she didn't exploit that weakness.

Blaise Zambini was lounging in front of the fire, writing in a book which covered his entire lap. The book was dark, even in the firelight, and looked ancient. Kerri snuck up behind him, and rested her head right over his shoulder, squinting to read his handwriting.  
"Yo Zambini. Whatcha writing."  
Zambini, startled from his concentration jerked the quill up from the page, and splattered drops of ink onto Kerri's face.

"Thanks." She squinted and rubbed her face  
"You're lucky you weren't hexed. What were you thinking sneaking up on a Slytherin like that!" He abrupt shut the book.  
"I am a Slytherin!" She threw up her hands, which were still holding the ransom note. Zambini snatched it from her fist quickly.  
"Someone is ransoming your slippers?"  
Kerri rolled her eyes, "Not just someone. My sister Krista... I'd know that handwriting anywhere. What kind of present is a ransom note anyway?"  
"She could have at least took the time to cut pictures out of magazines and make it a decent note. Look, she even spelled Gryffindor wrong."  
Kerri took the note back, and reread it. "I think she did that on purpose, to make me think someone else wrote it."  
"Why isn't your sister in Slytherin again?"  
"She didn't want to be anywhere near me. Lucky for me."  
Zambini didn't look surprised. "So, what are you doing for the rest of the day?"  
"Breakfast first, then I'm going to cause some trouble."  
"Trouble," Zambini grinned, "trouble is always fun."  
Kerri smirked and opened the bag of chocolates, scooping out a handful and depositing it in his lap.  
"Want in?"  
"You make a very persuasive argument in favor of causing trouble, but..."  
She narrowed her eyes, and dropped the entire bag to join the handful of chocolates.  
"Callahan, you've convinced me. What are we doing?"

Krista had asked for a trebuchet, ninja stars, and her very own invisibility cloak for Christmas. Her parents were a little confused as to just why she would need a trebuchet, but knew that their daughter could use none of these items for good. They sent her pajamas decorated with goldfish, a miniature version of Hogwarts castle for her goldfish bowl, and a camouflage cloak. She asked Colleen for Chemical X, sugar, spice, and a pair of roller blades. Her sister Colleen sent her the same tee-shirt and cd combo as the other two sisters, and a couple of stickers as well. Kathleen was sort of confused about the wish list she received from her youngest sister as well, so she sent her a couple 007 novels, four super strong suction cups, and some feathers. (Krista asked for James Bond... the actual man, four super strong suction cups, and one thousand live chickens.) She also got a very large bag of candy from Caitlin, and sniffed it over suspiciously. She fed one of the top chocolates to her clone, who ate it and was fine, and took it with her to breakfast. Barely dressed in her pajamas, tee-shirt, and slippers, she skipped down the stone steps of the Hogwarts staircases. Her clone skipped behind her, covered in the green and brown mix of the camo cloak. The invisibility cloak of Harry's worked a lot better than the camo cloak, unfortunately for Krista Harry had changed the locks on his trunk again, and she couldn't break into it before lunch. She just shoved Mini-Krista along with the goldfish bowl and minicastle under her new cloak and pronounced the hunt for pancakes to be on. When anyone asked, Krista put her finger to her mouth loudly and said "SHHHHHHHHHH! It will hear you!" And continued on eating. She was seen placing a plate of food under the cloak, and handing a goblet of pumpkin juice under every now and then.  
One rather adventurous Hufflepuff first year, who didn't know any better, sat next to the camoflauged lump. "What is under the cloak?" He said to Krista.  
"Mini-me, she's my clone. I made her over the summer, and now she comes with me everywhere. I even make her do detentions for me. Dead useful, clones are. Oh. Watchout, she bites." The first year looked skeptical and tried to lift the cloak. His fingers got bitten and he leapt back, telling anyone who would listen that Krista brought a dangerous pet to breakfast.

Owls arrived at breakfast, inviting students to a Christmas gift exchange before lunch. Everyone who read them shrugged, and agreed to arrive.

A very unhappy snake pouted around Kerri's arm, hissing nasty things to her, and counting the ways he hoped she'd die. Then she shoved some bacon into his mouth. She was watching her older sister over the breakfast table but trying to make it look like she wasn't.  
"I'm telling you, Zambini, they're up to something."  
Kerri stabbed a piece of toast, and munched on it, all while trying not to stare at the Gryffindor's. The normal set up in the Great Hall was abandoned for the Winter break, seeing as there weren't enough students to fill one table. All of the houses congregated together, so far, no one had been hexed.  
"Her and her stupid friends," she munched into the toast, "think they're so great. I can see it in their eyes, they are up to something."  
Zambini was leaning over to Kerri, trying to hear what she was saying through the toast.  
"You're obsessed. Sometimes everyone isn't out to get you. Or maybe they are, but I'm trying to enjoy breakfast here, so the paranoia can wait."  
Kerri grumbled into her pumpkin juice.  
Krista's bag of candy sat on the edge of the table, and she was inspecting every piece. The back of her shirt read, "Ask me about my goldfish."  
Caitlin was talking to Kaitie Bell and Kirsten to make it look like she wasn't watching Kerri. "She is up to something, I know it. Look at her eyes. Surely she is plotting on how to get me into trouble."  
"Trouble is my middle name," Flashed on the back of her tee-shirt.  
Kirsten stole the last piece of toast from in front of her, "So what? Look at the ceiling, it is snowing! I bet there is a lot of snow outside already."

So Kirsten and Katie recruited everyone within arms reach to a snowball fight, and breakfast passed by uneventfully.

Everyone was bundled up in sweaters, mittens, hats, and robes, and stood just outside the stone walls of the castle waiting. The snow on the ground made it bright out, but their breath froze in clouds in front of them, and icicles hung from the trees. There was a light snowfall from the sky as a motley group of Hogwarts students trudged to the field by Hagrid's hut.  
Two teams soon formed, the Cannons versus the Cuties. Ginny joined Caitlin and Kirsten as the Cuties. Katie Bell sided with Harry and Ron as the Cannons.  
Everyone ruled out wand use, except for the building of snow forts, and the games began.

Ginny started building the Cutie's fort by a tree, until a snowball came flying at her, hit the tree branches, and she was hit in the head by falling icicles.  
"No fair!" She yelled, and started charming icicles fly at the other team. So much for no wand use. Her brother had packed a pile of snowballs, while Harry and Katie built their fort, and he levitated the whole bunch, sending them flying towards his sister. Ginny pulled Caitlin along as a bodyguard, meaning she hid behind her, and infiltrated the enemies camp as soon as her brother was out of snowballs. She tackled him, and Caitlin stood shocked for a minute, then started stuffing snow down Harry's back as he tried to help Ron handle Ginny. Katie stopped working on the fort and scooped snow to throw at the pile of people in front of her. She though the red scarf was Caitlin's, but she couldn't really tell because everyone was so covered in clothing. Kirsten snuck up behind her, and hit her in the butt with a snowball.  
"Oww!" Katie yelped and rubbed her butt, spinning around to Kirsten.  
"That shouldn't have hurt, you've got enough padding!" Kirsten grinned.  
Katie looked angry for a second, then colored a snowball orange, and hit Kirsten in the thighs. "Tag, you're it!"   
Kirsten wrinkled her nose at the orange splat the snowball had left behind, and she squished a purple snowball into Katie's hair.

All the team members started using colored snowballs to keep track of how many times everyone was hit. The fight lasted for a while, until someone threw someone else onto the lake. They went spinning out of control on the icy surface. Everyone abandoned the snowball fight to take turns spinning each other around and flinging them onto the ice.

Caitlin was wet and cold by the time she looked at her watch. Her fingers were so numb that she forgot she had fingers. It was getting close to eleven when everyone was ready to go into the castle.


	5. Kerri Potter: Chapter Five

Alas, even Fred and George will never be mine, they belong to JKR. But then, I couldn't imagine having to fight Cailtin over them. Harry and Ron came out to play for this chapter, and I got a bit carried away. Christmas ends up spanning three chapters, hope no one minds.

Oh, by the way, I'm still not making any money. I think I'll have to make more humiliating things happen to my sisters until they make with the pizza and smoothies.

**Kerri Potter and the Little Sisters of Doom!**

Chapter Five: Nothing Says Party like Weasely's Wizarding Weezes.

The last of the parcels from seven owls were delivered directly to Caitlin's bed. After the snowball fight she made her way up past the fat lady and changed into warm, dry clothing, and put the finishing touches on two large presents. With some quick wand work she levitated them behind her, and skipped downstairs to the group Christmas celebration. Everyone was supposed to bring presents for someone else, and gifts would be exchanged. There was a classroom that would have been perfect for the things she had planned, students were decorating the room with gold and silver garlands when Caitlin snuck in and placed her gifts on the table. She was wearing her new robes, and had got the Weasely's Wizarding Weezes test gags special for the occasion. Her two little sisters wouldn't know what hit them.

Ever since Kerri called her a goody-goody at the beginning of the year, Caitlin was planning to make Kerri regret those words. She decided that today was her chance, when there weren't any other Prefects around. She hung spelled mistletoe above the doorway, in front of the Christmas tree, fire, and over one of the chairs. If people walked in pairs underneath it, they would be forced to kiss. She also procured a magical karaoke machine which only played naughty Christmas carols, trick jellybeans (only the nasty flavors), Flabbergabber Fudge, Truth or Dare Toffees, Bubbling Soda pop, U-Glow Gumballs, and those were just for the party. She had saved the really bad ones for later.

Someone had thought to bring a tree to decorate, popcorn to pop over the fire, exploding snap, and the Wireless was playing. More students started trickling in with presents, talking and laughing.

Kerri, with the help of Blaise, had spent part of the afternoon booby trapping the room Caitlin had invited them to for the party. Suits of armor were charmed to insult people as they walked by, and they had borrowed an evergreen tree from the great hall and cursed it to swat at people trying to decorate it. They were satisfied with the results, and Kerri handed the bag of candy to her friend. They went back to their common room to retrieve the gifts for the party, and snuck into the kitchens to get some snacks.

Krista and her clone had eaten most of their candy, and were dancing around the Gryffindor common room on Hogwarts biggest sugar high in history. They were using anything as a drum, or guitar as they leapt across couches and chairs. The portraits were scandalized. Of course, all they saw was Krista dancing with a badly decorated sheet. They had barely made it to the classroom in time for the excitement, and at last minute Krista decided to transfigure a deer statue into a reindeer to ride into the party. Her clone had chose to remain in the common room talking to the goldfish.

Caitlin was flitting about the party, butterbeer in hand talking and laughing with her friends and generally having a good time. She almost fell over laughing when Harry and Ron walked in the door together, and turned to each other to kiss. The looks on their faces were priceless. Pretty soon everyone was pushing each other under the door to see if anything would happen. Caitlin 'accidentally' bumped into Ginny on her way for some fudge, and she toppled into Harry. The whistles and catcalls weren't nearly as bad when they kissed as when Harry and Ron did, but Ginny blushed redder than her hair.

"Damn Harry, how many Weasely's are you going to kiss?" Someone shouted.  
"Yeah, save one for me!" Kirsten added.  
Caitlin didn't realize it, but she accidentally picked up a piece of Flabbergabber Fudge, and nibbled on it absentmindedly as she watched Kirsten try and lure Ron under a different area with mistletoe. As soon as she tasted it, she immediately tried to spit it out but it was too late. She tried to cover her mouth, but that didn't work either. She was soon talking rapid fire about how much she loved cheese until a minute passed and the effects wore off.

Kerri was watching all the people around her, and made a note to make sure she wasn't walking anywhere with anyone else. Krista came trotting in on a giant reindeer, and because of the mistletoe, she ended up kissing it. Everyone was asking her when the wedding was. She parked her new pet towards the back of the class and gulped down some pumpkin juice.

Kerri piled a plateful of food and sat in front of the fire and laughed as she watched a first year Hufflepuff get thrown across the room by the violent Christmas tree. A Ravenclaw girl opened a bottle of blue soda, and soon she was burping glittery blue and pink bubbles. Kerri grabbed to bottles of the soda, and 'yoinked' Zambini from the clutches of two other giggling Hufflepuff girls. She popped the tops, and handed him one clinking her glass against his. "Cheers!" He sniffed the bottle warily, then drank from the contents. His eyes widened as he hiccupped a couple of brightly colored bubbles. Kerri laughed, and three green bubbles flew out her mouth.  
"These are great!" She said, blowing bubbles while she spoke.  
"They're kind of gross..." Zambini said.  
"Most funny things are, betcha I can blow a bigger bubble than you can!"  
"How much are you betting?"  
Kerri elbowed him in the side, and blew a giant multi-colored bubble. It popped over Zambini's head.

Krista has roped some of the Ravenclaw girls into singing with her, and they were all making a lot of noise. Kirsten had chased Ron around the room, but they both gave up once they saw the food table. Ron was stuffing his mouth indiscriminately with food, and Harry was joining him. Kirsten watched in dismay, and Katie Bell poked her in the side. "Look at how messy he eats, imagine how badly he kisses."

Harry almost choked on his treacle tart when he heard this, but Ron just kept eating. Katie looked at Kirsten and grinned, mouthing, Are you thinking what I'm thinking? Kirsten mouthed back, No... Katie was already innocently putting food on her plate, and grabbed two glasses of butterbeer. She looked meaningfully at Kirsten, then at the Truth or Dare Toffees, then at Kirsten. Kirsten looked blankly at Katie Bell. Katie slapped her forehead with her hand, grabbed some of the toffees, and plunked them into a glass of butterbeer. The cup fizzed for a second, then went back to normal. Kirsten grinned and plunked toffees in each glass.  
Katie pulled her aside, "You idiot! Now all the butterbeer has those candies in them." Kirsten shrugged. "Why is this a bad thing." They giggled and watched Ron gulp down his drink.  
"Ron... I dare you to..."  
Krista crashed the party by placing a microphone in front of his face. "Truth or dare Ron?"  
He looked startled. "Wha?"  
Harry explained the rules to him, and Ron shrugged. "Truth."  
Krista looked disappointed.  
Kirsten took the microphone from her and asked, "Was Harry your first kiss?"  
Ron's face turned bright red again, and he looked around desperately... Now his voice was amplified, but he couldn't stop himself.  
"Noooooooooooeeeh. Yes."  
Harry just shrugged, "Sorry mate, was it good for you then?"

The party went on like this before dinner, people coming, going, coming back... When everyone was full of butterbeer and food, they sat in the cozy chairs and couches around the fire. No less than thirteen pairs of people had kissed, and now everyone pretty much knew where the mistletoe hung, and had spelled it down with their wands.  
After eating a U-glo gumball, Krista flared up a neon yellow. Someone Nox'ed the lights and Krista looked like a glowworm in the darkness. Caitlin was trying to get everyone to play Truth or Dare, but no one was really interested anymore. Ron was pouting at being embarrassed until someone pointed out that at least he didn't kiss the reindeer. No one was hungry for lunch, but they all decided to make a show of it anyway, just incase someone had decided to track them down and stop the party. Someone like Professor Snape. Everyone who brought a gift agreed to meet back in the room after dinner for hot chocolate around the fire.

Krista rode her Reindeer to lunch, with the two Ravenclaw girls she had befriended in tow. Although they were a little uneasy at the fact that even though they told her their names three times that day, she still referred to them as minions.


	6. Kerri Potter: Chapter Six

Authors note: By now I'm sure you are used to the way we all play in the Hogwarts Universe that JKR has created. Past this chapter a plot actually begins to try and rear its ugly head. You've been warned.

By the way: I work for Pizza and/or smoothies. NOT smoothie pizza or pizza smoothies. Just wanted to clear that up.

**Kerri Potter and the Little Sisters of Doom!**

**Chapter Six Fluffy is short for Fluffitmus the Third**

Christmas dinner was boring. Boring. Boring. Dull as a dead and unshiny doorknob. Krista forked some pudding over to Mini-me and sighed heavily. How, oh how, could she make dinner more interesting? Harassing her older sister Kerri never got old! Alas, her Slytherin sister was talking to Professor Flitwick, so the budding would need to happen later. Still bored, Krista started shaping the butter and pudding into little statues. She presented her Ravenclaw friends each a replica of herself in butter. "Cherish this always!" Krista chirped to them. Minions, ah, wasn't it great to have minions. Soon, the world would appreciate her genius. The pudding was molded into a model of the Loch Ness monster, and she sat back to examine her handiwork.

Perfect.

Sure that mini-me would appreciate her genius, Krista peeked under the camo cloak at her clone, who looked sad.

Sad. What could possibly make a clone sad? She was perfectly content to sit with fluffy and sing him the cuckoo song. Which mostly involved her singing the word, Cuckoo, over and over again while rocking the fishbowl back and forth.

Sad.

Krista looked skeptically at her clone, poked her once or three times, and noticed the distinct lack of cuckoo song and rocking of fishes. Where did the fish and bowl wander off too?

"Kerri!" She interrupted her sister, who was now talking to Blaise-fancy-pants-Zambini. "Where is Fluffy?"

Kerri looked over to her sister with feigned surprise, the evil plotting little Slytherin. Thought she was better than the great Krista, eh?

"Fluffy? I don't know anyone named Fluffy." Kerri said, body language clearly guarded, as if she were waiting for the punch-line of the joke. But oh no, Krista could tell when someone was lying. She could smell it. Kerri was a Slytherin, after all, that's what they do. Lie, smell…and wear a lot of green and silver.

"Fluffy is my goldfish. He is missing. His bowl is gone as well. They may be seen together at times, though sometimes they travel apart. The bowl is about yay high, and sometimes transports water, sand, little colorful pebbles, and a replica of the Hogwarts castle…and bubbles. Sometimes bubbles. " Krista was using her hands to illustrate the size and shape of the goldfish bowl.

"Fluffy is a goldfish. He is pink. And a fish. He swims…lives underwater. Likes the little flaky fish food." Krista was now making a face, and acting out how Fluffy would eat the fish flakes.

Kerri rolled her eyes to the display. "I know what a goldfish and bowl look like. That doesn't mean I've seen them. Normally your.. eh.. pet.. uhm." Kerri tried to think of a way to say clone without saying it, but she couldn't think of one. "Normally someone else is taking care of…Fluffy? What kind of stupid name is that for a goldfish! Besides, I know for a fact that YOU stole my green evil fuzzle slippers- which are much better than a goldfish named Fluffy."

Krista narrowed her eyes into little slits. What a good idea that was, stealing those slippers. Mini-me's feet would be nice and green, and evil wrapped in those slippers.

"Thanks for the idea Kerri." Krista said with a smirk. "It goes without saying that someone doesn't have my fish, or his bowl. Or the castle for that matter. Not even a speck of sand. She does have the fish flakes, but doesn't like the way they taste. What remains is the fact that my fish is missing."

Kerri turned back to Blaise, ready to ignore her sister. Krista started flinging peas into her sister's goblet of pumpkin juice, her brain already thinking of a new plan of attack against her fish stealing sister. She wasn't quite sure about the whereabouts of the bowl, but surely Fluffy wouldn't venture too far from water. Water!

Krista pulled her clone from the seat, and went to visit a certain ghost in the girl's bathroom.

Moaning Myrtle was floating glumly around her toliet. Krista and her cloak covered clone popped up in front of the dead girl.

"Waah! Of. It's you."  
She said accusingly. "You get to celebrate, open presents, and be alive while I have nothing to be happy about. NOTHING! And you've come to rub it in, haven't you?"

Krista stood patiently through this bit of Myrtle's normal crap.

"Right,"said Krista, when she was sure that Myrtle was just whining now, and not actually talking. "I've come to offer a trade. I have a companion for your U-bend."

Myrtle looked interested.

Krista opened the Tupperware container, and the ghost toast floated about. "This is Toast. He is toasty. Tasty too, he once belonged to my sister. Then I ate him. Have you seen a pink fish in the toilets lately?"

Myrtle looked at the toast greedily, but did not answer.

Krista opened the Tupperware, and the toast floated back into it. She closed the lid.

"No. No fish." Myrtle said hurriedly, eyes wuden behind her glasses, as the lid closed on the Ghost Toast's tomb.

"Perhaps you should look again, just to be sure." Krista place the toast coffin on the ground and sand on a sink waiting.

Myrtle flew down through her toilet and was gone immediately to search.

Mini-me pulled off the cloak and waited with Krista.

Myrtle returned rather soon. "No fish, not a pink fish. Not even in the lake. No fish sticks in the kitchens, not even a fish animagus in the country. Wherever your fish is, the Hogwarts portraits have been alerted and the other ghosts will be watching for it."

Krista considered this information for a moment, then nodded, and set the ghost toast loose to join Myrtle.

Little did anyone really know, Myrtle was one of Krista's best sources for information. The paintings were far too gossipy, and had a habit of letting the headmaster know just exactly what you were up too. Krista took the information with her, as well as her cloak-covered up clone, and went off to harass Kerri.

Said person was busily opening crackers with Blaise-I-love-chicken-enchiladas-Zambini. He was blahblahing on about the relative greatness of chicken enchiladas when Krista walked up. Merlin, did the boy ever say anything intelligent? She stood there in awe, listening to him prattle on an don about nothing. Krista felt sorry for him at the moment. Very sorry. She decided she was going to do Blaise-stupid-rambling-Slytherin-Zambini a favor. Most people expect Krista to be noisy. Very noisy. One time, she conjured a miniature marching band and parade of mini purple elephants and monkeys with tambourines in the early hours of the morning, while trying to create the best alarm clock ever. They followed her around for a day and a half before her Professors finally had enough, and Evanseco'd them away.

Students and Professors alike expected Krista to be followed constantly by that level of noise wherever she went. Expected, meaning when she was completely silent, no one knew she was there. She was silent a lot, including now, when Zambini was telling her sister about spicy Mexican entrees.

"Kerri. My fish."

Kerri almost jumped, but had long ago controlled her startled reactions, knowing tha Krista did this sort of thing all the time. Zambini fell out of his chair. Krista sat in the empty seat, next to her sister.

"Look, Krista. I don't have your fish. Even if I did, I wouldn't give it back."

"Let me clarify, Kerri,." Krista said, the epitome of seriousness. "It is not my fish. It is my clone's fish. She is very disappointed that it is gone. I'll give you an hour to return it to my dorm with out any negative consequences. No hard feelings. But you don't mess with my fish."

"Are you trying to intimidate me?" Kerri looked incredulous. "I don't believe you! First you steal MY slippers and leave me with a stupid ransom note as a Christmas present! You lousy, not good, bratty little… BRAT!"

Krista was puzzled for a moment, she let it show on her face. While all of that seemed plausible, and a rather food idea at that, she was sure she had sent her sister a new set of testube for Christmas, and acurse quill, that wrote insults about your Professors if you used it to do your homework. The insults didn't show up until after you turned in the parchment. Krista had invented it herself. She explained this to Kerri.

Kerri was turning red with anger, and looked like she was going to explode. "I'm tired of your lies Krista! No one else writes like you, or even spells as bad as you do! You didn't even spell Gryffindor correctly." Kerri waved the ransom note like a flag in front of her sister.

"G-r-y-f-f-i-n-d-o-r." Krista spelled. "Besides I would have used cut out letters, not written it. Hell-o!" Krista was watching from the corner of her eye at her older sister Caitlin. Caitlin was watching their conversation with a lot of interest. Krista's brain was once again planning, this time she was coming up with all sort of new an interesting embarrassments for Caitlin.

Kerri followed Krista's gaze, all the while keeping up her rant about the note. Krista's eyes met Kerri's and she smirked her twisty little smirk.

"Well, its been nice talking to you sister. Hope to see you very soon."

Blaise Zambini picked himself up from the floor and crawled up to the chair. "Is it gone now? Is it safe to come out again?"

Make Caitlin's Life Living Hell rose on Krista's to-do list. It was even above, Make Kerri's Life Even Worse. Krista and her camouflaged clone bobbed away.

That night the students at the Holiday party sat around a roaring fire, drinking hot chocolate. Soon the house rivalries would be back in place, but as for now, everyone was comfortable spending time with each other. They traded stories about their childhoods, told jokes, and acted like kids for a while.

Three of those kids ended up in the hospital wing very late that night. Or early in the morning, if you please. However you see these things.

Caitlin Callahan was by far the worst. She was covered in rainbow feathers, all the hair on her body had become feathers. She looked like a Technicolor Big Bird, and every time she hiccupped, which she did every few seconds, out popped an egg. Sometimes she would jump up and sing Old MacDonald, like a woman possessed, eggs and feathers flying. It was truly a sight to behold.

Kerri Callahan was pink. Her eyes, eyelashes, teeth, and fingernails, her skin, her clothes: all pink. She now had a fish tail sprouting from her tailbone, and twenty-three and a half tentacles waffling on her forehead. Scales were patchy and slick covering her elbows and knees. She was immersed in a large round bath tub full of liquid when the gills popped up on her ribcage.

The youngest of the Callahan sisters was covered in green evil fuzzle fur. Blinding inneon green, thick tufts of fur sprouted out her ears and nose, then covered her entire body like a chiapet in full bloom. Two beady little Krista eyes were all that were visible under the carpet of fur. You could barely tell it was Krista, she was so fluffy, but her sisters knew.

"Merry Christmas," Caitlin wished her sisters, a hint of a giggle in her voice, before turning over to sleep.

Kerri was not as quick to forgive: "Shut up, stupid." Shespat out bitterly, "You're not the one who is sitting in a human sized fish bowl!"

Krista dropped one of her Christmas presents in to the tub, and her clone offered Kerri some fish flakes.

"Merry Christmas to you too." Krista replied.

"Cuckoo!" A voice echoed.


	7. Kerri Potter: Chapter Seven draft

Valentines Day - the draft

January came and went, and it was still toe-freezing weather. The sisters were put to rights in the infirmary by New Years and after all that they didn't really feel like spending any more time around each other. After Caitlin's brilliant scheme to steal things from both her little sisters and make them think they stole from each other, Kerri and Krista were a little more leery of their older sister. There was a tentative sort of truce between them, while they regrouped and planned their next attacks.

School resumed right on time, but Kerri Callahan had barely kept up with her holiday schoolwork because of her extended stay in the infirmary. February meant there was still ice and snow covering the grounds. Kerri's morning was miserably cold, and she put on a double layer of socks just to keep her feet warm. Why Hogwarts Castle didn't have warming charms spelled into the stone was beyond Kerri. Who would build a giant castle in the middle of Scotland without having warming charms? The Slytherin dungeons were the worst, they were nestled deep underneath the castle, the only spot of warmth one could find was in front of a fireplace. Even bundled up Kerri thought she could feel frostbite starting to ice over her extremities with every step. Voldemort bemoaned his hatred of the cold weather to his owner all the way from the Slytherin Common room to the potions classroom, which honestly wasn't that far.

"You're over exaggerating." Zambini, her lab partner ,just rolled his eyes at her, and stirred their potion clockwise with his wand.

"I'm bloody freezing that's what I am." Kerri pulled her robes tighter and leaned over her parchment, doodling pictures of tropical islands. "I think my brain is freezing, I can't concentrate on anything."

"The Elixer of Iskalddoden…" Blaise squinted at her notes. "What does that mean?"

"Icy Death." Voldemort hissed, in translation.

"Icy Death," Kerri automatically translated to her partner. "Why couldn't it have been: Nice, Warm, and Toasty Death?"

"I could do without the death part all together, thanks," Blaise commented, watching their potion turn a silvery-blue. "You've been in this castle for how many years now, and you still haven't gotten used to the cold?"

"Any further jokes about my being cold-blooded will be met with a hex to your crotch, Professor Snape's classroom or not."

Kerri took Zambini's twitchy look of fear as a good sign he wouldn't make any jokes and continued to doodle.

"So, you never told me exactly what happened Christmas night," Zambini decided to take the conversation from one sensitive area to another. Despite his prodding Kerri didn't really like to talk about it.

Her tropical island doodle started to feature a shark circling in the waters.

"I mean, something had to happen besides your hair getting turned pink."

"I told you it was lady problems."

"Yeah, but that only deterred me the first time, then I realized that your so called 'lady problems' don't turn your hair pink. I think it is a large conspiracy anyway. It gives you ladies and excuse to be moody and eat chocolate."

"I think it would be funny to watch you tell more ladies your little conspiracy theory. But just so I can watch the subsequent pummeling that is surely going to happen."

Zambini pondered this while ladling his potion into a larger apothecary jar. "If I get a cut of the tickets sold, I might think it was funny too. Fine if you won't tell me about that, you mind telling me about why you can't concentrate?"

"I already told you, its because I'm cold."

"Winter has been happening for months now, it can't really be because of the cold."

"Says you, besides you aren't normally this chatty…what is wrong with you?"

Zambini shrugged and extinguished the flame under their shared cauldron. "Our potion is as good as it is going to be."

"Good enough for me."

Kerri watched her lab partner hand in their potion, and started cleaning up their mess of ingredients.

"Any plans for Valentines day?" Zambini asked when he returned.

"Oh no, I almost forgot about that stupid holiday," Kerri moaned. She rolled up her parchment and collected her books.

"I'll take that as a no then."

"Who makes plans for Valentines day? You know what my plan would be, to sleep the entire day, then wake up and eat chocolate I bought for myself, then go back to sleep. Perfect."

Blaise choked back a laugh, and collected his books as well.

They entered the chilly dungeon halls discussing Kerri's master plan to stop Valentine's Day from happening.

Elsewhere Krista was enjoying her Divination class while plotting her next move in her plan of MCLALH (Make Caitlin's Life A Living Hell.) Her tea leaves weren't much of an inspiration, and her Divination partner was peeking into her cup, wondering what she saw that made her smile so wickedly.

Phase one had already happened, with no sort of reaction from her older sister. Perhaps she was being a bit subtle, she rationed. Either way phase two of the plan involved Valentines Day.

"It looks like a wombat doing the salsa… or perhaps the Mona Lisa." She informed the girl across from her.

"Oh, whats that mean..?"

"You don't want to know." Krista said ominously. She always tried to sound extra crazy in Divination, where she figured the behavior was expected. She was too busy planning evilness for the upcoming holiday to really pay attention to tea leaves Oh, Valentines Day. What a wonderful, exciting holiday, filled with candies and cards. Oh, the trouble she could cause on that wonderful holiday. With the pink and red and cupids and the hearts. It made her heart warm with the thought of all the additional trouble she could cause not only in her sister's life, but in the lives of other Hogwarts students as well. Only two weeks to go, Krista grinned, a wicked sly little grin. Only a two weeks to go.

Caitlin already had a notebook full of lists. That is how she kept track of things. Lists upon lists upon lists. Written in cute notebooks, with colorful pens and the artful addition of doodles and stickers. The lists she was composing at this moment was a list of Valentines. She hand-crafted intricate little love notes, cards, letters, and poems, all with matching envelopes. Then she sold her pieces to love struck students the day before Valentines, all for a tidy profit. Valentines also happened to be Caitlin's favorite holiday for another reason; Chocolate. A self confessed chocoholic, Caitie horded the little heart shaped boxes of chocolate like a dragon horded gold. Which is to say she made sure all of her friends knew exactly her favorite flavor of bon-bon, and of course, always subtly reminded everyone of her passion at carefully planned intervals before the holiday. Sure she had admirers, secret and not-so secret, but who could trust candy from a stranger? She always gave those candies to her sisters.

Still, careful planning always led to success with most of her ventures, except that last one. Maybe her sisters knew her too well, maybe they now suspected her of pranks. Well then, she reasoned, might as well just work that angle. New list, Ways To Get Back At Younger Sisters. Ever since That Night, she couldn't look at an egg without shuddering.


End file.
